


Advanced Survival Techniques

by queenofspades (enlightenight)



Series: Community After The Episodes Series [2]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Gen, thanksgiving episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enlightenight/pseuds/queenofspades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“I am not well adjusted… More often than not, I’m barely keeping it together.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advanced Survival Techniques

♫ - This Will Make You Love Again - IAMX

His hand was on his scar.

Lying on his bed with his eyes open, Jeff could feel that pain which he felt when he made that scar. He could even feel the warm blood in his hands. He could hear himself trying not to scream but instead breathing so fast. 

He could remember himself trying to stop the bleeding, trying to clean the mess he created - otherwise his mother would be upset. But more importantly, his mother could leave him too…

And he was one hundred percent sure, he didn’t want that. 

He knew what having a father with you felt like. He knew even though he didn’t gave a crap about you, it was more valuable than anything in the world just having him there.

His hand was on his scar.

A simple scar, telling a lot about him. A simple scar, he wanted to hide. A simple scar he couldn’t hide.

At least, from himself.

He could remember that impressed look on his friends eyes. Impressed, concerning, caring look on his friends eyes… He could remember all the cards coming with simple gestures showing that he meant something to them.

He was too tired to lean and get that box from under the bed he was lying on.

His hand was on his scar, his eyes were on the ceiling.

His face had no impression.

He tried to imagine what it would be like having his father with him. How would he be like, if he was in Willy’s shoes? Would he be like him? Emotional, overly emotional and dependent? Or would he be the cool and strong, tough man he always pretend to be. 

His hand was on his scar.

After a point, he didn’t want anyone to help him. Anyone to worry about him. He could keep his own shit together, he was sure. That was the reason he moved out at eighteen.

His mother didn’t insisted him to stay with her. Unlike other mothers, who tried to save their sons’ psychology, Jeff’s mother was too busy with her own business… Jeff couldn’t even remember when was the last time she hugged him.

His hand was on his scar.

His mind was busy with memories he never wanted to remember.

He tried to kill himself once. Or twice. Maybe three times - he wasn’t sure. He took a lot of sleeping pills once, but somehow his survival instincts helped him to survive.

As if he wanted to.

He was never one of those people who try to cut themselves and bleed to death. No. He was looking for painless ways. Rat poison, as an example. His roommate helped him survive that.

As if he wanted to.

He took his hand off from his scar and reached to the glass full of scotch. He drank all of the drink at once and closed his eyes, but nearly automatically, his hand was on his scar again.

A simple scar which had a great history and meaning.


End file.
